Films on Television

Today sees the launch of the Sony Movie Channel in the UK. It got me thinking about the possibility of every major distributor having their own film channel. It would call into question the dominance of packages like Sky Movies. Currently, there are only a few film channels available without the Sky Movies package, most notably Film4 and TCM. Disney offer a host of channels, although their Disney CineMagic requires a subscription. If other major distributors follow Sony’s lead, it would change how people view films on television. There would still be a need for ‘premier’ channels, as it would be unlikely that a distributor channel would show its own films on television that soon after theatrical release.

Futhermore, the main television channels would also still show films and feature terrestrial television premiers of new movies. Nevertheless, more non-subscription film channels would offer the television viewer more choice. And given the proliferation of streaming and online viewing services, new film channels would surely increase the viewership of films on television.

If every major distributor follows Sony’s example, what can we expect these new channels to show? I pondered what delights may be on offer…

Sony Pictures

Sony Movie Channel launches on 3rd May 2012. The very first film screened will be Woody Allen’s fantastic Manhattan Murder Mystery. The channel will be screening films from the last three decades, so not quite the full back catalogue of Sony Pictures. If they choose to extend this remit, the channel could screen some fantastic films. At their best Sony have distributed classics such as It Happened One Night and Ghostbusters. They are also responsible for Jack and Jill.

20th Century Fox

The television side of the Fox corporation is alive and kicking, particularly in America. If Twentieth Century Fox had their own movie channel, audiences could expect such delights as Star Wars and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Also on offer would be Big Momma’s House and its sequels.

Paramount Pictures

One of the major film companies of the Golden Age of Hollywood, Paramount have a rich back catalogue. A Paramount movie channel could offer some of the finest films ever made, including Double Indemnity and Rear Window. The channel could also screen No Strings Attached.

Universal Pictures

Celebrating their 100th anniversary this week, Universal also have a tremendous array of films to populate a hypothetical movie channel with. Viewers could look forward to tuning in to Bride of Frankenstein and E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. 2004’s Wimbledon may not attract quite the same viewing figures.

Warner Bros

Famed for their crime films in the 1930s and 1940s, and their box office-dominating recent franchises, a Warner Bros move channel could feature a cornucopia of classic films. Films as diverse as The Maltese Falcon and The Dark Knight could be aired,  but so could 2011’s New Year’s Eve.

Sony Movie Channel launches on Thursday 3rd May 2012 in the UK, on Sky channel 323.

Film Review: New Year’s Eve

If you find life too placid and want to be thoroughly annoyed by something trivial, go and see New Year’s Eve. Its working title may just have been So What if I’ve Won an Oscar? I Need a Pay Cheque.

It is New Year’s Eve and a young courier makes an unlikely deal with a middle-aged assistant. His flatmate meanwhile hates New Year’s Eve and wants to avoid all celebration of it. A teenager hopes to enjoy her first kiss, but is stopped from going out by her protective mother. A terminally ill patient hopes to see the ball drop one last time…

Love Actually has a lot to answer for. Granted, it was not the first film to feature a multi-strand narrative that ties together at the end, but it is responsible for the recent spate of films which employ this format. Whilst Richard Curtis‘ film did have some redeeming features, sadly the same cannot be said for Garry Marshall’s latest effort.

It is not simply the clichéd plots and stock stereotypes that grate. For a romantic comedy, New Year’s Eve is almost devoid of laughs. It is not entertaining, not even in a trashy or cheesy way. The predictable chain of events would not be a big problem if the film at least provided some amusing situations or jokes.

Worse than the lack of humour, however, are the vomit-inducing attempts at emotion. The mawkish voice overs and speech by Hilary Swank’s character are imbued with the worst kind of synthetic sentimentality. Rather than evoke emotion, these are more likely to irritate beyond belief.

If the assault on viewers’ minds was not enough, New Year’s Eve goes one further by including eyesore-inducing product placement. While characters discover the importance of love, forgiveness and new beginnings, logos for Nivea, Phillips and Toshiba parade around the screen like wanton hussies. If this wasn’t bad enough, audiences cannot escape the New York landmarks being thrust in their every direction. Perhaps this was a condition of filming in the city, but it was not a price worth paying. Warner Bros even sneak in an advert for their upcoming feature Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. At this point, however, viewers must just nod and utter “well played”.

New Year’s Eve boasts a lot of acting talent. Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer and Hilary Swank (among others) should be ashamed of themselves for agreeing to appear. Despite the varied cast, New Year’s Eve is unequivocal in its stance. Same race, heterosexual couples are the only ones featured here, with the onus on the fact that it is females who desire a kiss from an attractive male.

New Year’s Eve is one big cynical money-making extravaganza that fails to entertain. Hopefully it will kill the multi-strand, ensemble cast, holiday-themed romantic comedy trend dead.

New Year’s Eve Trailer

It may only be July, but here is the first trailer for New Year’s Eve. Director Garry Marshall has clearly got some serious dirt on Robert De Niro, Hilary Swank and Michelle Pfeiffer as they all star in the film. Joking! No. From the trailer it looks like another one of those multi-strand ensemble cast rom-coms. The film certainly features a star-studded cast that includes Zac Efron, Jessica Biel and Sarah Jessica Parker. New Year’s Eve is released 9th December 2011.